ambrose-bierce

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That sovereign of insufferables.
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Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
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Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
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Circumlocution, n. A literary trick whereby the writer who has nothing to say breaks it gently to the reader.
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Marriage, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Peace, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
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Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
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Consult, v.t. To seek another's approval of a course already decided upon.
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Positive, adj. Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey
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